Choosing My Chains
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We all have goals we want to accomplish this year. Some of those goals will require us to become different people. It will require us to change the way we do things. In other words, we will need to form new habits and break old ones.
For example: if your goal for 2023 is to be Credit Card Debt Free. You will need the habit of tracking your expenses, planning your spending (aka budgeting) and automating your spending. For someone who has been doing the direct opposite of all these things. It is incredibly difficult to develop these new habits. As Warren Buffet once said, "The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."
So the question becomes what does it take to form new habits and replace old habits? How do I break old chains and put new helpful chains on myself?
The best books I have read on the topic are Atomic Habits by James Clear and Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg. There is a common theme from both books and also one I noticed in my life. Habits are only formed when three ingredients are present: Motivation, Discipline, and Environment.
Motivation
One of my favorite books that I have never actually read is Start With Why by Simon Sinek. I know the first question that popped into your head was, "How can it be your favorite book if you have never read it?" Simple, it is because I listened to Simon talk about the ideas and concepts within the book (Lesson: You don't have to read the actual book to learn all the lessons from the book).
The premise of the book is one question: How do you get people to move toward a specific goal in the workplace?
The answer was simple. You give them something to aspire to. You give them a WHY.
One of the biggest life hacks is asking yourself "Why?" more often. The more we understand the purpose and reasons we are choosing to do things. The more likely we are to stick to those things. For example when I'm saving money:
It is much easier for me to save when I have a purpose for the money. Such as a vacation to Europe to watch Man United play against Man City.
Versus when I just say, “I need to save money because that is what I was told to do.”
Having the purpose makes the sacrifices I need to make much more acceptable and I stop viewing sacrifices as a negative thing.
Discipline
"Motivation gets you started, Discipline keeps you going"
This is one of my new favorite things to say. Far too often we believe if we know why we want something or if we have a strong enough conviction concerning something. We will be able to achieve the thing.
That never happens.
Having a strong why is great to set the stage and get you started and bring you back in focus. But it takes more than just feeling convicted.
Think about your life, how many times have you decided to make a change? But to this day, you still do the same thing. Many of us have made the decision to be Credit Card debt free for 5 years now; however, the debt remains.
Is it that you don't feel convicted or guilty enough or you don't have a reason?
Of course not. It is simply because we do not have the discipline to do the things we know we should do.
A very simple definition of Discipline is Consistency. It is repeatedly making the right choices over and over again.
Here's the problem, we all know what we need to do but we sometimes don't do it. I believe the problem comes down to our reliance on willpower. Which leads to the last key to the creation of new habits.
Environment
Society teaches us that in order to accomplish goals we need to have the grit to power through difficult times. The problem is this hardly ever works.
Now, do we need grit and resolve to accomplish our goals?
Yes
But it's not enough because we are not robots. We are humans with emotions and feelings that can and will sway us. So even when we want to do the right things, we may not have the energy or willingness to do the right thing.
This is where your environment comes in. Your environment either enables or prevents you from being disciplined.
For example, if I'm trying to save money for a vacation to England to watch Manchester United play against Manchester City. There are two routes I could take to save for the vacation:
Every time I get paid. I tell myself whatever is left, I'll save for my trip.
I create a budget or spending plan with a built-in monthly savings amount that goes to a separate account to save for the trip automatically.
Which do you think will enable me to accomplish my goal?
Option One leads me to make a decision in the heat of the moment.
Do I save this money or Do I go out with friends?
Do I save this money or Do I order takeout tonight?
Option 2 creates an environment that enables me to save even when I don't want to. It makes the decision once and removes it from my hands.
I believe this is the missing ingredient in forming habits. We all get motivated. We all try to be disciplined. But we mostly fail because our environment is not working to enable us. Primarily they are working to allow the old habits we are trying to break.
So for the rest of 2023, as you work towards your goals and implement new habits. Don't just focus on doing the thing itself, your willpower is not enough. Look at the environment you're in. Is it helping you or is it hurting you?
By the way, when I say environment it is not just your surroundings. It is also:
The people you are around aka your friends and family
The things you watch or listen to
Things you follow on Social Media
The question to ask is How is this enabling or preventing me from accomplishing my goals?
God Bless Y’all
✌🏾
Quick Tip: Use reminders and timers on your phone to help you get in the mind frame to accomplish tasks that are necessary for your goals.
For more actionable steps, here is a summary of Atomic Habits by James Clear or you could read the whole book. Either way, the goal is not just to acquire information but to become wise by implementing the information acquired.
Best of luck to everyone this year.
Recommended Reads
Ben Carlson explains You cannot have it all, no matter how much you want it all. In life, Perfect is the Enemy of Good. Please Choose Good