I hate hearing the word “NO”. I am literally allergic to it. I remember growing up I would be so scared to ask my mom for anything. Not because she always said no but because of the fear that she could say “NO!”. I used to ask my little brother to be the go between on my behalf for stuff I wanted or I would just never ask. If I think there is even the slightest possibility that someone will tell me NO for something I ask, I start freaking out and go down a rabbit hole of “Why should I even ask? It will be better to just never let anyone know I need or want this thing so why even allow myself to get disappointed?” Which leads to me always replying the same way whenever anyone asks me if I want anything, “No. I’m fine, thank you.” But in reality there is a plethora of things that I want.
The problem with this is it also means that I never get a YES. I never get the joy of receiving the thing I want or need. When I stay within my little cocoon to protect myself from the possibility of disappointment. It also means that I am ensuring that there will never be a chance of gaining JOY from those moments shared with others.
You cannot have VICTORY without the possibility of Defeat.
You cannot have HAPPINESS without the possibility of Sadness.
You cannot have SWEETNESS without the possibility of Bitterness.
They are all two sides of the same coin.
I love to talk about Risk and Reward in investing, how they are intrinsically linked and tied together and you cannot have one without the other. It is the same way with life. You have to take RISKS in order to have the possible REWARD we are after.
I say all of this to ask one simple question,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU DIDN’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY?
Now take a moment and just picture yourself doing that thing or being in that atmosphere and then write it down.
If you are anything like me, then your dream probably SUCKS! It is probably a safe BASIC BORING DREAM! It probably is along the lines of I would make sure my parents are good, travel, maybe buy a new car.
Look at the dream!
How BORING IS THAT?
WHERE ARE THE DETAILS?
Literally that dream can be accomplished even without all the money in the world. I mean making sure my parents are good can be as simple as calling them or buying them a new laptop. Travel can be as simple as taking a drive down the road to the beach. A new car literally can be a new to me car.
SO THAT DREAM IS BORING!!
IT IS SAFE!!
It is not the actual dream I want. Because the actual dream I want is a bit scary and has the possibility of disappointing me. SO I scale the dream down to the bare bones version of the dream. This way I limit my disappointment but the problem is I also completely eliminate the possibility of excitement and JOY!
The real dream is more as follows:
I want to literally RETIRE my parents. Meaning literally pay all their DEBTS so they can feel free to do the things they are truly passionate about. My mom can focus on her school. My dad can focus on helping people establish a base in Nigeria and he can focus his entire time on designing homes and facilities. That is what I truly mean by “make sure my parents are good”
I want to travel all across Europe to see every world class stadium. Starting with the UK, watching MANCHESTER UNITED play life. Then watching Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Man City all play life but also in their stadium which means spending at least a month just in the UK. Then traveling to Germany to see Bayern Munich’s Allianz Arena and see them play against Borussia Dortmund. Then going to see Dortmund play in their Stadium (cause they have one of the most HYPE fans EVER). Which means staying in Germany for at least a couple weeks. Then traveling to France to see PSG play, then going to Italy to see the Milan teams (AC and Inter). Then finishing my trip with the main highlight, SPAIN. Going to the Estadio Bernabeu to see Madrid and also the Camp Nou to see Barca play.
Cars below
Now these are all the things that I want. Notice these are not things that I have to wait until the day I am retired to attain. They are all things that can be attainable in the next few years with a bit of dedication and a bit of focus. But I get scared of the dream. I start thinking about the numbers associated with the dream and start going down the line of “But how will I even be able to afford it?” Then I just kill the dream.
When in reality, having concrete specific GOALS and DREAMS are one of the best if not THE BEST driver that we can possible have. It pushes us to focus more and to go that extra mile and take that extra step when we want to give up.
Rather than only asking “What if I don’t get it?”
Also ask the follow up question, “What if I DO get it?”
So I go back to the question I asked earlier,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU DIDN’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY?
This time when you answer the question, BE DETAILED.
Paint the picture you want to see. Essentially, I am giving you permission to once again
I hope you all have A WONDERFUL week and weekend. You can also catch me on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube everyday.
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Remember GENEROSITY > greed
God bless Each and Everyone of y’all
✌🏾
-Kelechi