This post is 738 words, a 4-minute read. Enjoy!
Ask yourself, why do you not do the things you "SHOULD" do with your money? It's not because you don't know what those things are. I don't even have to mention them, every single one of those "SHOULDs" just came flooding into your minds.
The answer is because our emotions and feelings short circuits our brain and causes us to make less than ideal decisions. However, once you understand and accept that there will be emotions with your finances you can better handle it. You can acknowledge your emotions whiles doing the things you ought to do.
But this truth can be very hard to accept. At least I know it is very hard for me to accept.
We were taught that money is math. Let me use myself as an example and get to brag a bit in the process.
By most financial measures I'm doing "well" for my age. However, if you asked me if I'm doing well financially, I would squirm a bit and say, "Maybe, I don't know".
Why? Because I don't FEEL like I'm doing well financially.
If you followed up with, what would it take to feel better. I would say "HAVING MORE" and tell you a number that is more than what I have today. Even though I know fully well that the number ain't the problem.
Ironically that thought experiment isn't much of an experiment because it happened.
Early last year I was talking with my fiancé (Love you Sweet Lips) and told her that if I just made $115,000, I would be so happy and I would feel good with money.
By the end of the year, I made $113,000. Did I feel any better? Absolutely not!
Why not?
I mean the math was obviously there. I mean sure I was $2000 shy, but I basically was there.
So then why didn't I feel better?
Because I knew in my heart of hearts. It ain't about the money. It ain't about the number. It is simply my emotions. There's a deeper story that I have told myself about money and because of that story it doesn't matter how much I make. I'll always feel that it isn't enough.
Sure, I can say when I make enough to be able to help my family, be financially independent, and buy whatever I want then I'll feel like it's enough. But I know that isn't the truth because right now I'm on the path to get there and I still don't feel good.
This part is much harder than figuring out what my Financial Independence number is. It's the mushy part of money that I hate.
So yes, money is about the numbers, and it is very important for us to know our numbers.
But it is very much also about our emotions and feelings.
Being able to merge the two puts you in a much better position to handle financial decisions. I am still learning how to do this. If anyone has words of wisdoms, please share with me.
Currently, I'm reading a book called "The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge" by Ted Klontz, Brad Klontz, and Rick Kahler.
Yes, it is the Ebenezer Scrooge you are thinking about. It uses the classic Christmas Carol tale to discuss money psychology. The authors walk through the money scripts we develop from the time we were kids and how those scripts lead us to make certain decisions without us realizing it.
It has been extremely enlightening for me. Exercises in the book are helping me discover a bit more about my money psychology. How my feelings play a role in my financial decision making. I recommend it to anyone who wants to do a bit more money on their money psychology.
Here is an example of a money script I discovered why doing an exercise from the book:
Spending money is terrifying because a dollar spent today is a dollar I didn't invest. Which could be the difference between me becoming financially free or broke. Is it true? Probably not but I would rather not find out. So therefore, I'm not gonna spend money.
This explains a lot about my relationship with money. The irony is knowing doesn't necessarily solve the issue. More work to be done.
In the meantime, Imma keep trying to make more money and invest 😉.
God Bless You All
Remember Generosity>greed
✌🏾
Recommendation Section
There are hidden costs in almost everything we choose to purchase. Doug and Heather Boneparth have a series covering many of them. I have loved learning and reading about them:
A new podcast I am loving is called 50Fires. It is by Carl Richards, a recovering Financial Planner and Advisor, who although could help other people with their finances. Had a difficult time talking about money with his wife and children. It has quickly become one of my most anticipated podcast to listen to every week.
Jack Raines in The Purpose of Things Isn't To Stop Doing Things. He talks about the danger of things becoming too convenient as technology continues to improve.
Morgan Housel in Quiet Compounding talks about how good things tend to happen slowly and is easily missed. He breaks the 4 ways that is either ignored or implemented in life.
Nick Maggiulli in Selfish talks about how we can easily be caught up on the "Me Show" then we miss out on all the things that truly matter.