Stop Moving The Goal Post
Setting Goals is one of the best ways to improve our lives. It helps direct us and helps us know what to do versus what to let go of. It helps to control the massive trove of data that is regularly thrown at us. I for one love setting goals
But like with most things in life, too much of a good thing quickly becomes a bad thing.
For people like myself who love the ability to set goals and accomplish those goals we quickly enter into a state of perpetual chasing. Every accomplishment, every goal achieved is nothing more than another notch in your belt as you push on to the next goal. We have this push because we believe accomplishing the next thing would be the thing that will finally bring us the fulfillment that we desire. But undoubtedly it never does.
All it does is leave us with a feeling of dread and despair as we realize we have nothing to push towards anymore. So in order to fill that up, we set new goals and begin the journey again.
Now, do not get me wrong. There is something to be said for regularly pushing yourself so you do not stagnate. Or taking opportunities that come your way. However, there has to be a point where you say "THIS IS ENOUGH." Otherwise, life becomes a hamster wheel that you can never get off.
BUT THIS IS HARD!!
Our world is built around the idea of taking advantage of everything that comes our way and going as far into it as you possibly can. Plus humanity runs on an idea of scarcity that if I do not get this thing this time, I will never get another chance. We evolved from a world of not enough to now live in a world of abundance.
But things changed much faster than our brains were able to keep up with. So we all operate on the idea of better get mine in now or never again. Capitalism is a perfect example of this, the whole idea is to exploit a flaw you see with ruthless brutality.
So then how do we establish an embedded Goal Post that will not be moved by society, family, friends, or our own selfish gluttonous inner desires?
I believe it comes down to being CONTENT
When asked about how John D. Rockefeller was able to live till 97, his doctor responded "(he) gets up from the table while still a little hungry.”
If you do not know who John D. Rockefeller was, well let me share a bit from Wikipedia
John Davison Rockefeller Sr. (July 8, 1839 – May 23, 1937) was an American business magnate and philanthropist. He has been widely considered the wealthiest American of all time and the richest person in modern history. Rockefeller founded the Standard Oil Company in 1870. He ran it until 1897 and remained its largest shareholder.
Rockefeller's wealth soared as kerosene and gasoline grew in importance, and he became the richest person in the country, controlling 90% of all oil in the United States at his peak.
You would think someone like Rockefeller was one to gauge himself but unlike most others, he knew how to limit himself.
I was in a meeting at work and we did an ice breaker because, in corporate America, this is how you try to make people more comfortable. The Ice Breaker was to introduce yourself and name something you are grateful for.
Pretty much in these settings, you can predict what people will say. It is always one of the following:
Family
Food
Weather
Sports
And like clockwork, that is exactly what we all said, myself included. But then one person got up and said, "I am grateful for another day of life, everything else is a bonus."
The whole room went dead silent.
At that moment, she put everything into perspective. Now here is the thing, some might think she is just saying it to say it. But you could tell by the look in her eyes, that SHE MEANT IT! She had the look of an aged sage, who understood more of life than anyone in the room had lived.
Morgan Housel says in a blog, that this is a learned and extremely valuable skill:
In each case there’s value in saying, “I could have more and do more, but this is good enough.”
But it’s such a rare skill. People don’t like leaving opportunities on the table, and it’s counterintuitive to realize that you’ll likely end up with more than those whose appetite for more is insatiable.
Most of the time, the belief is your goal should lead you to happiness. I mean it is even written in the US Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
But that in and of itself is the problem.
Happiness is FLEETING! It is a moment-by-moment thing. If you go around chasing happiness, you will never catch it.
Rather when you seek to be CONTENT, Happiness becomes a by-product rather than the main thing.
So I am in a questioning mode for my life. I am asking myself, what does it look like for me to be CONTENT? This goes into everything:
Career
Finance
Even Relationships
I hope we all discover what CONTENT is for ourselves.