We are ALL LIARS!
We lie about our weight
We lie about our height
We lie about being late
We lie about forgetting to handle certain tasks
We lie about liking foods we hate
We lie to make other people comfortable
We lie to keep the peace
We just lie to make ourselves feel comfortable
THIS IS A PROBLEM!
There have been proven benefits of telling the truth. Now I am not talking about telling "Your truth" (which I believe we have conflated with the act of sharing our emotions and feelings). I mean the ACTUAL TRUTH. The truths that can be scary to face. The truths that challenge us. The truths that hurt!
According to the American Psychological Association:
Over the course of 10 weeks, the link between less lying and improved health was significantly stronger for participants in the no-lie group, the study found. For example, when participants in the no-lie group told three fewer white lies than they did in other weeks, they experienced on average about four fewer mental-health complaints, such as feeling tense or melancholy, and about three fewer physical complaints, such as sore throats and headaches, the study found. In contrast, when control group members told three fewer white lies, they experienced two fewer mental-health complaints and about one less physical complaint. The pattern was similar for major lies, Kelly said.
Compared to the control group, participants in the more truthful group told significantly fewer lies across the 10-week study, and by the fifth week, they saw themselves as more honest, Kelly said. When participants across both groups lied less in a given week, they reported their physical health and mental health to be significantly better that week.
In weeks when participants told fewer lies, they reported that their close personal relationships had improved and that their social interactions overall had gone more smoothly that week, the study revealed. “Statistical analyses showed that this improvement in relationships significantly accounted for the improvement in health that was associated with less lying,” said Wang, who is a statistician.
Think about that. Not only does telling the truth help us in our health. It also helps us grow CLOSER and DEEPER with the people we say want to grow closer to.
The truth is POWERFUL!
It is FREEING!
It creates a bond unlike anything else.
For the most part, we do our best, to tell the truth. We all inherently know these benefits. However, there is one thing we have all universally accepted that it is okay to lie about. In fact, it is so looked down upon that companies have been able to take advantage of it and abuse everyone. People would rather allow and see you suffer than actually approach the topic. And even if they did approach the topic, we have been so conditioned never to seek aid that we would just lie and say "I'm good".
I hope at this point, you are feeling some kind of unease in your gut. Because you know the exact topic I am talking about. We all know it.
IT IS MONEY!
In a study by Accrue Savings:
Financial Deception is Almost Universal
Younger generations are more susceptible to the toxicity of self-deception about their financial status, and are more likely to buy items outside of their budget - leading them to financial insecurity.
Everyone is lying - at least sometimes. Only a small percentage of younger generations says that they never lie about their financial situation:
15% of Gen Z
18% of Millennials
27% of Gen X
58% of Baby Boomers
No wonder people look at me like I have three eyes whenever I am so open to talking about money. Between Millennials and Gen Z (my generation), almost 9 out of 10 people are going to lie to me about their financial situation. The annoying thing about this is even when people are trying to ask for help, they still lie to me.
This is A MASSIVE PROBLEM!!
Here are some reasons why:
Suffer in Silence
the world we live in today is extremely unstable and uncertain. Millennials entered the working world during the Great Financial Crisis. Gen Z entered the workforce during the Covid Recession. Now we live in an inflationary environment that we have not seen in over 40 years.
Financial stability is not something we have known. This shapes the way we see the world. This is part of the reason we have things like:
The F.I.R.E (Financial Independence Retire Early) Movement
Flocking to crypto and NFTs because YOLO
Meme stocks flying over the last two years
The age of the Super Entrepreneur
We seek some level of safety in an unnerving world. The problem is we are seeking it in all the wrong ways
Keep Up Appearance
Because of Reason 1, we get reason 2. If we cannot talk about our fears, we have to swallow them and put on a front
This means now we have to spend to keep up with certain appearances so others can believe that we are doing "FINE"
So we spend beyond our means, killing ourselves even more
According to the study above: 95% of Millennials and Gen Z spend beyond their means knowingly. In other words, we know we cannot afford something but buy it regardless.
The problem is we actually start believing that we are in a better situation than we actually are. As the saying goes, "The easiest person to fool is ourselves."
Lie to yourself long enough and you'll forget what the lie was.
Constant Anxiety
The biggest issue when we choose or are coerced by society into lying about our finances is CONSTANT ANXIETY
If I had a penny for every time I heard one of my peers say they are anxious about their money situation. Well, I would have none cause NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT!
But you can see it in the eyes of people:
the way we joke about never being able to pay off student loans
the jokes about YOLO
the jokes of never being able to buy a house
looking for a way to get quick rich
Which financial organizations use to their advantage to sell us all kinds of BS products like Buy Now Pay Later or Credit Cards or Whole Life Insurance etc
We are all in PAIN around this topic but we all just HIDE IT
This leads to a FEAR and LOATHING about anything money
We avoid our bills
We never look over accounts
We take horrible financial advice because we don't want to know
This all leads to one thing, we take NO RESPONSIBILITY for anything
Now think about actually being truthful when talking about money.
Transparent and Honest
When we share with those we love about what we are going through, it better enables them to be able to help and also not push us to do things we cannot afford
Seriously, how often have friends been like "Let's go out" and you have to start doing mathematical gymnastics of how you are about to pay for food for the next month?
Authenticity
Everyone says "Be Real", "Keep It 100", "No Faking"
But in reality, No ONE lives that out
When you are truly honest and transparent about your finances, you can actually be truly authentic with others. You do not have to keep up with any kind of appearance that is not in line with you
You can do things that actually bring you enjoyment and ignore everything else
You can live your life and not have to worry about what everyone else thinks because at this point you know you are doing what is BEST for you
CONTROL
When you embrace the fears and are truthful not just with others but yourself about your situation, you can then take control
You stop living by default when you begin taking RESPONSIBILITY.
When you take control, your anxiety seeds because you have an idea of what your future COULD look like
Combining all three of these things leads to FREEDOM! It leads to DEEP Relationships, not the superficial friends we hid our true feeling from.
So be HONEST with those around you. You don't have to dump everything on them all at once. But when those situations arise, do not RUN from the moment EMBRACE IT!!
As my brother says, "On the other side of fear, is everything you ever hoped for"
✌🏾