This post is 1,328 words and a 6-minute read.
Ben Carlson, one of my favorite writers, recently released an article called, "Americans Have Never Been Wealthier & No One is Happy." He uses the recently released Federal Reserve data showing how net worth in the US has grown substantially over the last three years. Especially for those under 35 years old, which grew over 143% in the last three years.
But he asks a pretty interesting question:
So why does it seem like everyone is miserable? Why is sentiment about the economy so dire?
His answer was financial media. I agree that the media headlines play a big role in how we feel about the economy. But I believe there is another reason why we feel miserable.
I think the answer is very simple: COMPARISON
I will use myself as an example of this.
I have made more money than I thought possible this year. I will make even more money next year. I save and invest regularly.
Yet, I still feel that it is not enough. I still feel stressed about my financial position (keep in mind, that I have no debt minus my mortgage). I still feel anxious about what could be coming down the pipeline (although I save and invest regularly). I still feel that I have to do more or I will fail and everything will fall apart.
Why?
It plays out in two ways:
Keeping up with the Kardashians aka the Instagramification of all the things
The Glorification of the Passion/Creator Economy
Let me explain
1. Instagramification of All the Things
There is a saying in investing, "There is nothing worse than seeing your dumb neighbor get rich from buying a stock you had no idea about."
From 2020 to 2021, all we saw were people getting filthy rich from crypto, GameStop Stock, Options, Tesla Stock, JPEG images of rocks, or ugly-looking monkeys. Due to money that was pumped into the economy during the Covid crisis.
The wealth was consistently flaunted and lorded over everyone. Everywhere you looked on socials, there was another picture or another video of someone balling out with their fancy cars, nice homes, nice jewelry, etc. Even if you did not care about any of those things, the mere fact that these guys who appeared to be nowhere near as smart as you made that money. It was like a slap in the face. Why?
Because we all knew this was a once in a life time experience that we went through. We all intuitively knew and still know that we may and probably will never see another bubble like what we experienced. So although our wealth may have climbed up, we think to ourselves "IT COULD HAVE BEEN MORE!"
Then there is the instagramification of everything.
It is not good enough to just go to a restaurant for a meal. Nope, the restaurant must be vibey so I can take a picture and post it.
Hot Take: most popular restaurants in Atlanta are overpriced and do not have good food. They are popular for Instagram clout.
It is no longer good enough to go to the local beach to relax. You have to go to a resort in Tulum for a "mental" break.
Engagements are no longer an intimate time for you to declare your love. It has turned into a show for the interwebs.
Bachelor(ette) Parties have turned into a reliving of the Hangover/Bridesmaids movies.
Weddings are an entire movie production.
We do things in today's culture not because we like to do those things. But because we know it will get likes on Instagram. We may enjoy hiking but we no longer just hike anywhere. We have to go to the one hiking spot that everyone has seen on social and post the same picture everyone else has taken and posted.
We no longer just keep up with our neighbors on our street. We keep up with celebrities, influencers, millionaires, and billionaires (or at least their kids). So the pressure remains heavy on our heads because we are social creatures. We want to be included in the crowd. We do not want to be rejected.
2. The Glorification of the Passion/Creator Economy
In 2018, I started my career with my current employer as a Transmission Line Design Engineer. I liked my job (and still do). I made good money and I had the opportunity to grow both in terms of challenging work but also in responsibility. At this time, I never really cared much about the possibility of earning more doing other things. Although, I also refereed soccer matches. It was more for fun and to get and stay out of the house.
But 2020 happened, I had never really been on social media except for YouTube. However, with nothing to do, I ventured into the world of TikTok and a whole new world opened to me. I learned so much about personal finance, investing, economics, etc.
All of a sudden I wanted NO, I needed to create on this new platform. And because I knew of the success that YouTube brought so many years ago, I thought this might be my shot. This might finally be my chance to finally turn my creativity into an income source. An important back story is that I have been making videos since 2014 in college, mostly around gaming but I never monetized my videos back then and I always felt that I missed out on a great opportunity.
So began my spiral.
The more I learned and saw people succeeding in the world of TikTok. The more I wanted a share of the pie. Unlike during the early days of YouTube, everyone in this new world knew that if you could capture an audience. You are set.
What I had thought was impossible became possible.
We go on social and see people doing it. We see people succeeding at the things we want to do. So we try it. We give it 2, 3, 4 years but nothing WORKS. We never figured out how to make it work. How to finally reach the mystical lands of online monetization.
So we question ourselves, "WHAT THE EFF AM I DOING WRONG? Why can't I be like Person A or Person B? Why am I not able to find a successful route to accomplish this thing?"
So we despair.
Once upon a time, the only people I compared myself to were my coworkers who were moving in the same direction as me. Now I compare myself to everyone I see on Social, the podcast hosts I listen to, the blogs I read, etc. Everyone and anyone doing something seemingly great. Expecting that I should be moving as quickly as they seemed to have moved.
Both part of the Comparison issue points to what Morgan Housel dubs, Expectation Debt. Which he explains as:
"Expectations are like a debt that must be repaid before you get any joy out of what you’re doing."
Our expectations of what we should have or what we are owed have been inflated over the last two years. That debt is the reason we feel so horrible even though by every measure and every logic, we are far more wealthier. But logic and emotions are two very different things.
As Morgan Housel says, "Expecting nothing but good feels like such a good mindset – you’re optimistic, happy, and winning. But whether you know it or not you’re very likely piling up a hidden debt that must eventually be repaid."
We piled up an enormous amount of debt over the last two years, that debt is due and it is taking a heavy toll on us all.
Remember Generosity > greed
God Bless You
✌🏾
Recommended Reads
Nick Maggiulli on "Why Luck Isn't Real". He argues against allowing luck to cloud our judgment and cause us to just let life happen rather than taking decisive action to make life happen.
Kyla Scanlon talks through how spending 5 days riding a bike with 45-65-year-olds helps her see a different side of life.
If you are in a relationship and trying to understand how to manage money together, The Joint Account Blog with Douglas and Heather Boneparth is awesome to read.