When Life Hits: What Stays, What Goes
My Financial Priority List—Before Things Get Messy
This post is 1,249 words, about a 6-minute read. Enjoy!
I think it’s a great idea to check in on your finances every now and then and ask yourself: What are the things I can live without? And what are the things I absolutely can’t?
Doing this kind of financial gut-check has two big benefits:
You get clear on what actually matters to you.
You make decisions while life is calm—before chaos shows up.
One of my favorite artists, Andy Mineo, has a song called Know That’s Right. He starts with a line I love: “If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready.”
The truth is, none of us knows what tomorrow holds. But if we’re prepared today, we give ourselves the freedom to roll with whatever comes next.
Nobody likes being backed into a corner—especially when it comes to making decisions. That’s why I use the word “choose” intentionally. When we believe a decision is ours, we feel more empowered, more in control. It reminds us that life isn’t just happening to us—we’re active participants. We’re making moves, not just reacting to them.
One thing I’ve learned—especially with money—is that the greatest gift many of us seek is the freedom to feel in control of our financial lives. There’s an old saying I love:
“Learn to starve yourself before someone starves you.”
In other words: choose what to let go of before life makes that decision for you.
That’s why asking yourself a few key questions can be so powerful. It’s a way of exercising that control before circumstances do it for you.
Here are two questions I regularly ask myself:
What am I willing to stop spending on—or at least spend less on?
What do I want to protect at all costs, no matter what?
Those answers might change over time, but the act of asking keeps you grounded and ready.
It is important that you are honest with yourself about what needs to happen as you answer these questions. As Ramit Sethi says, "To be good with money, you must be brutally honest with yourself." This requires you to be ready to make the necessary changes.
Here is my piece of advice when you are faced with bad times.
Make the Hard and Painful Decisions ONCE!
Go BIG on your changes.
You don’t want to slow roll this.
Think of it like a dislocated shoulder—if you’ve ever seen someone try to ease it back into place slowly, you know that’s the worst idea. Medical professionals don’t hesitate—they pop it back in fast. Yes, it hurts like crazy in the moment, but that short burst of pain is far better than dragging it out. Quick action leads to faster recovery and a return to normalcy.
Now imagine a financial version of a dislocated shoulder—like losing your job or getting hit with a surprise medical bill. In those moments, slow, hesitant changes won’t help. You need to make big, bold cuts all at once to stabilize things and move forward.
But to make those cuts with confidence, you need to know exactly where your money is going. Otherwise, you’re like a doctor who can’t tell the difference between a shoulder and an elbow—not ideal when something’s out of joint.
So, after reviewing my own expenses, I made two lists:
What I’m willing to cut back on or completely give up.
What I refuse to compromise on.
(And just to keep it real—if you asked my wife? Her list would probably look very different from mine.)
Things I Would Choose to Give Up
Wedding
This has been my biggest expense so far this year. If things really hit the fan, I’d press pause on all wedding-related spending. Survival first, celebration later. The party can wait—I need to be financially standing to throw down.
Travel & Vacation
This is currently my fourth-largest expense. As much as I love traveling with my wife, this would be a quick area to scale back. We’d find more cost-effective ways to enjoy time together—maybe local trips, staycations, or just cutting down on the number of vacations altogether.
Eating Out
Surprisingly, this is my fifth-largest expense so far—way more than I expected. Which is why tracking your expenses is so important. Numbers don’t lie. If money gets tight, it’s grocery store life for me. No more "What do you want to eat tonight?"—just “What’s in the fridge?”
Subscriptions
Currently subscribed to Amazon, YouTube Premium, Netflix, Costco, Disney+, Monarch Money, and Google One. Yeah… some of these would definitely get the boot. Top of the list? Amazon Prime. As convenient as it is, it just makes spending easier. Too easy. It becomes the default. So in a cost-cutting scenario, it’s gotta go.
Plantain Chips
This would be the real test of my discipline. I love plantain chips. I currently go through a box every two weeks. In a tough spot? I’d have to stretch that to maybe one box a month. 😭 Let’s be honest—I might be lying to myself about this one.
Phone Plan
I'd switch from T-Mobile to Mint Mobile in a heartbeat. Honestly, I should probably make that move anyway. The difference in service isn’t that big, and the cost savings are real. But if things get rough, that switch becomes a no-brainer.
Things I Choose Not to Give Up
Travel & Vacation
Yes, this is also listed above—but hear me out. Visiting family is a priority. I wouldn't be quick to give up seeing my siblings across the country or spending time with my parents. It would just have to be done differently. I’d let ticket prices dictate the timing, lean heavily on travel points, and stay flexible. That means skipping holidays and peak times. I also wouldn't ball out on trips the way I do now—budget-friendly would be the new vibe.
Giving
This is a non-negotiable. Unless things get truly dire, I won't stop giving. It's an essential part of how I want to show up in the world, even when times are tough.
Date Nights
I refuse to give up these moments with my wife. We're still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage, and date nights are key to continuing to learn and grow together—not just in passing, but with intention and focus. We'd simply change the format. Instead of $80/plate dinners and activities, it might be wings from the local spot and a scenic drive. Vibes over price tag.
(For those wondering why I keep mentioning “my wife” while also talking about a wedding later this year—it’s a cultural thing. We’re married in every way that counts, and the wedding is the celebration part.)
Car/Home Maintenance
One of the worst things you can do in a tough financial season is ignore maintenance and create bigger problems down the line. I won’t stop caring for my car or my home. Sure, I’ll do what I can myself—fluids, filters, the basics—but I’ll still call in the pros for anything more. Delaying or skipping important fixes has backfired on me too many times. Lesson learned.
Making these decisions in advance helps me stay grounded and focused—so that no matter what life throws my way, I already know where I stand.
Remember Generosity>greed!
God Bless You!
✌🏾
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🎙️Podcasts I love:
50Fires. It is by Carl Richards, a recovering Financial Planner and Advisor. He could help other people with their finances but had a difficult time talking about money with his wife and children. It has quickly become one of my most anticipated podcasts to listen to every week.
Money For Couples by Ramit Sethi. Ramit is no one new to the world of money and personal finance. In his podcast, he talks with couples about their finances and helps them better enjoy their money or better get aligned. This is very important podcast for me as I enter a new stage of life.